Public transportation can be described best as it's called by the locals, a "safari". That's right, your local bus from here to anywhere on the island is named after an American-invented word where rich people hunt close to extinct animals to hang on their walls to any scare anyone under the age of 17.
But it is properly named. Imagine a Ford 550 but instead of the bed of the truck, they've place 4 to 5 bench seats and covered the roof with a clusterfuck of tin and scrape metal. It's amazing.
The safari travels in only direction in a large loop around the island but costs just one dollar to anywhere unless you go downtown by the port where most of the shopping and hospital are located, then it's a shocking $2.
Yesterday I borded the safari to go to the hospital (nothing was wrong with me, besides my nerves. See post below) A few minutes into my safari, a young, large girl with an extremely tight purple top climbed aboard.
"Good morning everyone," she shouted cheerfully. There were about 8 people on board and one blessed soul said good morning back.
"Do you like movies?" she asked no one in particular. "because dey showcase how everyone who fornicates is going to hell." Shit just got real.
I had to look back because as much as I love eavesdropping, I love getting a good look at a young girl who doesn't like to have sex and is willing to tell a safari full of strangers about it.
And then shit got weird. She was missing a hand. Everything below her left wrist was gone. This passionate anti-sex haver had just one hand. A hand similar to a "strong hand" that my sorority sisters found really freaks the shit out of me and would wake me in the middle of the night, clawing me with a strong hand screaming, "Take it! Take my strong hand!" but sorority love torture is for another book.
I continued to listen to the ranting and raving about how movies glorify sex and will send us all to an early grave until my stop at the hospital.
An hour later, once I was done pooing in a container (again, please see below. I just don't poo in a plastic vial for no reason.) I climbed back onto the safari and a few seconds into the ride, I heard "Do you like movies? You know they break all the 10 commandments, right?! They'll send you to an early grave."
Cool hand Luke was at it again.